Friday, April 8, 2011

The Mother of Pet Peeves

Today, luck wasn't exactly on my side. I kinda sorta got lost in Salt Lake... I called my mom, almost in tears because my GPS wasn't working and I couldn't figure out how to get where I was going- (Precisely why I need a functional GPS). She calmed me down but told me to call my dad at work because he knows the area better than she does. I called my pops and he explained directions to me and helped me figure out where I needed to be. It was a pathetic situation but hey, it sucked. I've never been super good at directions and easily get lost in unfamiliar territory, then I panic if I'm alone. Who cares if you're lost with friends? It makes for an interesting adventure. But when you're lost alone... It's super frustrating.

After I finished the things I needed to do, I was ready to head home... But by then I had a serious case of road rage because I was flustered and annoyed that so much time was wasted... Did I mention by this point, it was rush hour? Yeah, rush hour in Salt Lake can kiss my butt. It sucks. Rush hour plus ridiculous, retarded drivers causes even worse road rage. My bestie, Jordz recently wrote a post about one of his biggest pet peeves. (You can read all about it here.) The stupid drivers situation qualifies as one of my top five biggest pet peeves. Okay fine. It's my number one pet peeve.

So I'm here today to lay down the rules of driving. Things must change on the road if everyone in Utah would like to live. Or else you might see this a few times... And then I'll kill you :]

Here are my issues, in no particular order.

When Driving on the Freeway:

[1] DON'T break... Unless of course you're in serious danger of ramming into someone. If you notice that you're starting to catch up to the car in front of you, either change lanes to keep your speed, or let off the gas until your pace slows and you're consistent with the car ahead.

[2] Never go under 70 mph on the freeway... (When it's not too backed up of course.) No one likes driving behind you at 50 MPH in the fast lane! If I wanted to go 50 MPH, I'd take state street! The freeway is for fast people.

[3] Always use your blinker when changing lanes. The freeway moves fast enough (or should at least) so people need to be aware of what you are doing. PS- When you see someone elses blinker... LET THEM THE FREAK OVER! I promise it will NOT kill you to let a car merge in front of you... okay?? No one likes to miss their exit and have to back track, or get stuck behind a slow driver because you won't let them in front of you to pass them.

[4] If you switch lanes, you sure as hell better be going as fast, or faster than the car coming up behind you. Are you TRYING to kill someone?? No one should have to slam on their breaks cause you move your butt over and go too slow.

[5] Don't drive in the carpool lane if you don't have other passengers with you. It defeats the purpose. Jerk. No... Diego DOESN'T COUNT AS ANOTHER HUMAN!

[6] Don't tail people on the freeway. It's scary and dangerous.

When Making a Left Hand Turn:

Turn wide enough so that you don't have to break to avoid clipping the front end of the car that is making their own left turn. PS- If you're the "other" car, stop a bit further back behind the line so there is plenty of room for the car that is turning.

When Making a right Hand Turn:

[1] Don't turn on a red light unless you know for sure you won't cut the cars off coming from the other direction.

[2] When taking a right, pull as far over as you can so that the cars behind you don't have to break down to a measly five miles per hour and wait for you to turn your fat, children-filled suburbans.

When You're Old:

On your 60th birthday, you should be re-evaluated to see if you should still be aloud to drive. 60 seems to be about the average age that old people start to piss me off on the road. Seriously Gramps, the younger generations don't have time to wait on your slow-poke butts to figure out what you're doing.

Note: Re-evaluations should take place every year after the age of 60.

When You're Young:

Dear 15 year olds, you better complete your 80 hours of driving practice with your parents for REALS. None of this lying, fake signature crap... Because people can't handle your immature, mindless driving. When you finally turn 16, chill out. I know it's fun to start driving but do it safely, and pay attention to what you're doing and be aware of the other cars around you. Plus, don't text and drive til you can handle JUST driving first. (No, I'm not saying it's okay to text and drive... But we pretty much all do it. Just don't try and handle it when you know you can't.)

Other Situatuons and Thoughts to Take Account of:

[1] We all check our phones, send texts or search for a new song on our iPods when sitting at red lights... But pay attention to when it turns green so you don't hold everyone up. It's annoying.

[2] Turn your headlights on during a storm. Duh...
And at night... You look like an idiot driving around at night with your lights off... How do you not notice??

[3] The fast lane (left lane) is for FAST people. Don't drive in it if you're not going to drive fast. Move your butt all the way to the right. 

[4] Don't stare at me at red lights. Its awkward and annoying.

[5] You don't have to punch it when the light turns green so you can beat me... I'm not trying to race you and quite frankly, I don't care if you're ahead of me.

[6] Don't talk on your cell if its going to distract you from the road. (I feel like this mostly applies to middle-aged people and older... Teens and young adults seem to be able to multi-task in this area at a decent level.)

Alright, well I feel a bit better now that I've gotten that off my chest.

What are your biggest pet peeves when behind the wheel??
Comment and tell me your peeves and your crazy driving stories!

1 comment:

  1. hahaha wow, did you come up with these all on your own!? I'm super impressed. Great post.